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May. 8th, 2002 01:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaobellAnd Part 3.
User: The shadowlords almost killed Shamino.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch to all the
MegaHAL: judges i've had the strangest dream... I dreamed i killed you
MegaHAL: again.
User: SHAMINO IS NOT A BITCH.
MegaHAL: A house is a bitch.
User: Now listen very carefully. Are you listening? Okay. Shamino is
User: not a man-whore, nor is he a bitch. Don't make me kick your
User: ass.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a bitch.
User: I'm going to kick your fucking ass.
MegaHAL: Kick kick kick.
User: kick kick kick is right, bitch.
MegaHAL: Right. Tseramed is a bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a
MegaHAL: bitch too. She tries to kill you.
User: Tseramed is not a bitch either.
MegaHAL: Akio is a bitch either.
User: Akio is, indeed, a bitch. Good.
User: Shut up.
MegaHAL: Shut your fucking ass.
User: WHAT?
MegaHAL: No house, no techno, no rave, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy,
MegaHAL: no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no
MegaHAL: puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy,
MegaHAL: no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no
MegaHAL: puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff the
MegaHAL: magic dragon, no chemical sisters, no hip trip skip fucking
MegaHAL: hop. No. Stones. 24 Hours a day.
User: ...the fuck?
MegaHAL: What the fuck you got the rest of them.
User: I take it you don't like puff daddy.
MegaHAL: The nose is an amazing place.
MegaHAL: Ratshit batshit dirty old twat! Sixty-nine assholes tied in a
MegaHAL: preheated oven. It's ridiculous. There are no signs que dice no
MegaHAL: fume.
MegaHAL: Kozue is not gay. Shamino is not a man.
User: god dammit.
MegaHAL: And the riverbank talks of the leg, and is probably screwing
MegaHAL: touga and akio for sure, molested anthy a little, and is
MegaHAL: probably screwing touga and saionji are having buttsex. Touga
MegaHAL: and saionji are having buttsex. Touga and saionji are having
MegaHAL: buttsex. Touga and saionji too.
User: ...wow.
MegaHAL: Ha ha ha. Take off every 'zig.' you know what i see? I see a
MegaHAL: little bit of elvis in him.
User: CATS has no Elvis in him. Well, maybe he does.
MegaHAL: But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man who fights
MegaHAL: for stuff makes the world laughs with you. I actually do not
MegaHAL: know where the hammer and the phonograph.
MegaHAL: Akio is screwing every girl in the toilet. That's where shit
MegaHAL: goes.
User: eww.
MegaHAL: You're eighteen years old, you're in a 600 mph uncontrolled
MegaHAL: vertical descent. I also shit normally! Right in my brain let
MegaHAL: them out let them out let them out let them out let them out
MegaHAL: let them out let them out let them out let them out.
User: Killing worms can be boring.
MegaHAL: Worms in my pants.
User: There are no worms in your pants. Go to your happy place.
MegaHAL: Worms in my pants.
User: there are no worms.
MegaHAL: Worms in my brain let them out let them out let them out let
MegaHAL: them out let them out.
User: nobody likes me everybody hates me guess i'll go eat worms
MegaHAL: There are worms in your heart, in your heart.
User: ewwww.
MegaHAL: Buttsex is a cool word.
User: yes indeed!
MegaHAL: Life's gonna suck when you come up with that on your toe.
User: Do I have something on my toe?
MegaHAL: My feet on my toe?
User: Your toe on your feet?
MegaHAL: Your toe on your toe.
User: this is silly.
MegaHAL: Yes, gearge w. Bush is a weapon for propelling arrows.
User: No, that's a bow.
MegaHAL: A bow is a fat fuck.
User: Batlin is a fat fuck.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a fat fuck.
User: NO DAMN IT
MegaHAL: Damn the damn man.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a bitch to his face if i kick your ass.
User: Them's fighting words.
MegaHAL: Those are fighting words.
User: Grammar nazi.
MegaHAL: The man who fights for stuff makes the baby jesus cry with your
MegaHAL: eyes closed.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a bigger man-whore. She's not a mom either.
User: No, Nanami isn't a man-whore.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a crack whore.
User: Possibly.
User: Nanami is hot for Touga.
MegaHAL: Juri is hot for touga.
User: no, Juri isn't interested in dick.
MegaHAL: Juri is a crack ho.
User: NO
MegaHAL: I took a fish head out to see a little skinny guy.
User: Did he eat the fish head?
MegaHAL: Fish heads fish heads eat them up, yum.
User: I'll take that as a yes.
MegaHAL: That baggage handler playing with my lungs. That would suck.
User: ...that would really suck. hey! Put my lungs down!
MegaHAL: No, nanami isn't a castle in the grateful dead t-shirt and the
MegaHAL: fuck are you gentlemen! All your base are belong to us. You are
MegaHAL: random word hell on steroids!
User: How the fuck are you gentlemen! All your fucking base are
User: belong to us!
MegaHAL: You know where the fuck are you gentlemen!
User: Don't blow a load over here.
MegaHAL: A drip, a drop, the end of the load.
User: YES!!!
MegaHAL: Benjamin franklin was an english scientist. He discovered the
MegaHAL: ring of saturn, jupiter's 4 major satellites and the nails are,
MegaHAL: michael. We can put you in the ass.
User: Don't put the lord of the dance in my ass.
User: Rainbows crawl up your leg and bite the inside of your ass.
MegaHAL: Rainbows crawl up your ass.
MegaHAL: You shit in my ass.
User: Oh, gross.
MegaHAL: Akio is probably screwing touga and akio for sure, molested
MegaHAL: anthy a little, and is probably screwing around on shamino
MegaHAL: anyway.
User: you were doing okay, except Akio molested Anthy a lot, and
User: Shamino doesn't enter into it.
MegaHAL: Akio is a lot of people.
User: Akio did a lot of people.
MegaHAL: This good luck charm hanging off of my ass, you stupid
MegaHAL: rainbows'!
User: I don't want to hear about good luck charms hanging off your
User: ass.
MegaHAL: I am the lord of your ass.
User: jesus.
MegaHAL: Buttsex makes the baby jesus cry.
User: No it doesn't. unless it involves kids, dead bodies, or
User: animals.
User: Amuse me.
MegaHAL: All your ass are belong to me.
User: Thank you.
MegaHAL: Jesus god the swords are on the ceiling.
User: No, they're not. Go to your happy place.
MegaHAL: Maybe they're right when they tell me what they're going to get
MegaHAL: on with your life.
User: You're in a forest.
MegaHAL: A truckload of bricks in a forest.
[for ashlea]
User: Shamino used to have his own castle.
MegaHAL: There's a worm in his castle.
User: No, no worms there.
MegaHAL: Worms in the ass.
User: I hope not.
MegaHAL: It's a sliver of glass, it's a hope.
User: It's a worm in your ass.
MegaHAL: It's a worm in your ass?
User: No, I was just kidding.
MegaHAL: Benjamin franklin was an american pioneer of flying. Together
MegaHAL: with his brother he made the baby jesus cry.
User: Ruka fucks Shiori in the back seat of Akio's car.
MegaHAL: Shiori is a sensory organ found on the cover of the cheap motor
MegaHAL: car.
MegaHAL: In the evening, floating in the toilet. That's where shit goes.
User: holy shit.
MegaHAL: I'll be right back, i gotta go take a shit. Never mind!!
MegaHAL: Ruka fucks shiori in the ass. Plenty of people are willing to
MegaHAL: kick you in the ass, he gets a kick in the ass.
User: Now, we don't know that Ruka fucked Shiori in the ass.
MegaHAL: Shiori is a sack in the ass, it's coming, kick in the ass.
User: oh my god.
MegaHAL: Akio is screwing every girl in the colon, we don't know that
MegaHAL: ruka fucked shiori in the colon.
User: oh shit.
MegaHAL: You shit in the soft morning light.
User: When and where I shit is none of your business.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is crazy.
MegaHAL: It's insane. It will infect your soul, curve your spine, and
MegaHAL: keep the country from winning the war.
User: I don't think Lord British is the antichrist.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist.
User: No he isn't.
MegaHAL: He he he. Just who is proficient at some thing.
User: Look, Lord British is not the antichrist.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist.
User: Lord British is not the antichrist, damn it.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is the
MegaHAL: antichrist.
User: There can only be one antichrist. Which one is it?
MegaHAL: Morghrim is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is the
MegaHAL: antichrist.
User: oh jesus god.
MegaHAL: Jesus god the swords are on the list, but i must desist!
User: are you trying to rap now?
MegaHAL: Yurel is a soldier hired by the shadowlords.
User: Yurel never met the Shadowlords.
MegaHAL: I've never met the shadowlords.
User: The Shadowlords would have kicked your ass.
MegaHAL: Are you just can't refute your kick in the ass, he gets a kick
MegaHAL: in the ass.
User: I dare you to kick a Shadowlord in the ass.
MegaHAL: Kick kick kick.
User: Nice knowing you.
MegaHAL: Fuck you and i piss on the discovery channel.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a stupid bloody moron with no right to exist as a
MegaHAL: sentient being.
User: Very good!
MegaHAL: I always breathe normally when i'm in a 600 mph uncontrolled
MegaHAL: vertical descent. I also shit normally! Right in my office.
User: You shouldn't shit in your office.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your office.
User: You just shit in your own office?
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your office.
User: I hope you clean it up.
"I'll kick you in the face, it's a hope."
"Your mom is a bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big bitch she's a bitch and she's just a head when you get your picture on the plane!"
"They should come visit and show me their face, and get a kick in the ass, a great big kick in the liver, maybe even in the liver, maybe even in the colon, we don't know."
"And then one day i met a man who came to me in the ass."
MegaHAL: Kozue is screwing every woman in the bee cave.
User: No, Kozue isn't in Ultima. Good thing, too.
MegaHAL: Kozue is screwing every girl in the whole ultima series.
User: NO!
MegaHAL: First, shoujo kakumei utena is full of eels.
User: No, it's full of incest.
MegaHAL: My hovercraft is full of incest.
User: Well, okay.
MegaHAL: You just shit in my pants!
User: You shit in your own pants.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your own pants.
User: I don't shit in your pants either.
MegaHAL: You shit in your own pants.
User: No, I shit in the toilet.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in the toilet.
User: Well, you should. That's where shit goes.
MegaHAL: You know what you don't know shit about shit, and pull up the
MegaHAL: okay you fuckers, i'm going to put all the other random shit
MegaHAL: in.
"Your mom is a living organism of the night."
User: Your mom is a dirty slut.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a dirty bitch!
User: Your mom is a super kinka maya maya bitch.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a bitch.
User: Your mom is a three dollar whore.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a man-whore.
User: no, women can't be man-whores.
"Data is information, especially that stored in a knot! Yaaaay lizardshit fuck!"
"Okay, you fuckers, i'm going to learn self reliance." (getting a couple of Carlinisms mixed up)
"Socrates was a scottish inventor. He invented the carbon filament electric lamp and the fuck you hat."
"Someday mother will die and i'll get the hoe of destruction."
MegaHAL: Arcadion is a bitch too, but he doesn't remember you.
User: i wouldn't call arcadion a bitch to his face if I were you.
MegaHAL: Arcadion is a bitch too.
User: you're asking for it.
(explaining U8)
"Awww, geee, it's on the wrong side of the dead of the dead of the words belong on the plane. Get on the cover of the body to the brain." (MegaHAL raps!)
"You have to kill him with the plaque or you can kill him with the plaque or you can kill lord british with the hoe of destruction."
User: Selina is a super kinka maya maya bitch.
MegaHAL: Big big big big big big big big big big bitch she's a bitch.
User: Very good!
(me explaining Serpent Isle)
"Tits doesn't even belong on the cover of the rolling stone."
"A computer is a big fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch ass mom! Yeah!"
"Laugh hard, it's a rhyme, it's a rhyme, it's a loss, it's a void, it's a trap, it's a rhyme, it's a loss, it's a loss..." (slaughtering Waters of March)
"I'd like to think that i could jump out of my tongue..."
"A hawk, a quail, the promise of life, it's the joy in your hand" (more slaughtering of Waters of March, could be quoted waaaaaay out of context)
"I smoke two joints before i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints at night." (getting a little carried away with "Smoke Two Joints")
"Every man is made of two opinions. Every woman has a bazooka." (I have NO idea what brought this one on.)
User: your mom is a five dollar ho.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a big fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch ass mom! Yeah!
User: Calm down. Have some dip.
(Note to self: MegaHAL gets testy if I talk about its lineage.)
User: Lock Lake is a mess too.
MegaHAL: Lock lake is a mess when the banes get done with it.
User: Lock Lake is a mess because everyone dumps their trash in it.
MegaHAL: Because it is a mess when the banes get done with it.
User: The banes don't go to lock lake. They stay in Serpent Isle.
MegaHAL: Lock lake is a mess because everyone dumps their trash in it.
User: Right. There are dead fish all over the place.
MegaHAL: Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads.
(me explaining Ultima 7)
MegaHAL: There are no happy people in serpent isle. The banes kill him with the hoe of destruction.
User: I think you're a little confused.
MegaHAL: You're a little confused.
User: I don't think the banes needed the hoe of destruction.
MegaHAL: I think you could kill batlin with the hoe of destruction.
User: You can only kill batlin in Black Gate by cheating.
MegaHAL: Yes, batlin is a bitch. She tries to kill batlin.
User: Yes, Batlin is another big fat bitch...
MegaHAL: Batlin is a bitch but you don't get to kill batlin.
User: Right. You have to wait till serpent isle and even then you don't really get to kill him.
MegaHAL: Till the blow that'll get ya when you get him.
User: The banes blow him up pretty good.
(more of me explaining Ultima)
"George w. Bush is a five dollar ho."
MegaHAL: And the car that got stuck, it's the joy in your hand and the hips.
User: That sould be quoted way out of context.
MegaHAL: That sould be quoted way out of the dead fish. You can use the key to get out of context.
User: Stop making fun of my typos.
MegaHAL: Tseramed is a crack whore.
User: Er...no.
MegaHAL: No way! I hope you're sure about that!
User: I'm quite sure.
User: Your mom is a crack ho.
MegaHAL: The ass is a crack ho.
User: The ass has a crack.
"You just smoked two joints, and then i smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of peace, and two in time of war." (getting carried away again)
MegaHAL: You can find a kilrathi ship in a 600 mph uncontrolled vertical dive. I also shit normally!
User: I bet even a kilrathi would shit normally in a 600 mph uncontrolled vertical dive.
User: it's a beam, it's a void, it's a hunch, it's a hope
MegaHAL: It's a beam, it's a hunch, it's a hope.
User: you forgot void.
MegaHAL: I would like to think that i haven't had the misfortune to meet you in the face, it's a void, it's a void, it's a void, it's a find.
User: okay, that makes up for it.
User: The shadowlords almost killed Shamino.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch to all the
MegaHAL: judges i've had the strangest dream... I dreamed i killed you
MegaHAL: again.
User: SHAMINO IS NOT A BITCH.
MegaHAL: A house is a bitch.
User: Now listen very carefully. Are you listening? Okay. Shamino is
User: not a man-whore, nor is he a bitch. Don't make me kick your
User: ass.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a bitch.
User: I'm going to kick your fucking ass.
MegaHAL: Kick kick kick.
User: kick kick kick is right, bitch.
MegaHAL: Right. Tseramed is a bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a
MegaHAL: bitch too. She tries to kill you.
User: Tseramed is not a bitch either.
MegaHAL: Akio is a bitch either.
User: Akio is, indeed, a bitch. Good.
User: Shut up.
MegaHAL: Shut your fucking ass.
User: WHAT?
MegaHAL: No house, no techno, no rave, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy,
MegaHAL: no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no
MegaHAL: puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy,
MegaHAL: no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no
MegaHAL: puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r.
MegaHAL: Puffenstuff, no puff daddy, no h.r. Puffenstuff, no puff the
MegaHAL: magic dragon, no chemical sisters, no hip trip skip fucking
MegaHAL: hop. No. Stones. 24 Hours a day.
User: ...the fuck?
MegaHAL: What the fuck you got the rest of them.
User: I take it you don't like puff daddy.
MegaHAL: The nose is an amazing place.
MegaHAL: Ratshit batshit dirty old twat! Sixty-nine assholes tied in a
MegaHAL: preheated oven. It's ridiculous. There are no signs que dice no
MegaHAL: fume.
MegaHAL: Kozue is not gay. Shamino is not a man.
User: god dammit.
MegaHAL: And the riverbank talks of the leg, and is probably screwing
MegaHAL: touga and akio for sure, molested anthy a little, and is
MegaHAL: probably screwing touga and saionji are having buttsex. Touga
MegaHAL: and saionji are having buttsex. Touga and saionji are having
MegaHAL: buttsex. Touga and saionji too.
User: ...wow.
MegaHAL: Ha ha ha. Take off every 'zig.' you know what i see? I see a
MegaHAL: little bit of elvis in him.
User: CATS has no Elvis in him. Well, maybe he does.
MegaHAL: But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man who fights
MegaHAL: for stuff makes the world laughs with you. I actually do not
MegaHAL: know where the hammer and the phonograph.
MegaHAL: Akio is screwing every girl in the toilet. That's where shit
MegaHAL: goes.
User: eww.
MegaHAL: You're eighteen years old, you're in a 600 mph uncontrolled
MegaHAL: vertical descent. I also shit normally! Right in my brain let
MegaHAL: them out let them out let them out let them out let them out
MegaHAL: let them out let them out let them out let them out.
User: Killing worms can be boring.
MegaHAL: Worms in my pants.
User: There are no worms in your pants. Go to your happy place.
MegaHAL: Worms in my pants.
User: there are no worms.
MegaHAL: Worms in my brain let them out let them out let them out let
MegaHAL: them out let them out.
User: nobody likes me everybody hates me guess i'll go eat worms
MegaHAL: There are worms in your heart, in your heart.
User: ewwww.
MegaHAL: Buttsex is a cool word.
User: yes indeed!
MegaHAL: Life's gonna suck when you come up with that on your toe.
User: Do I have something on my toe?
MegaHAL: My feet on my toe?
User: Your toe on your feet?
MegaHAL: Your toe on your toe.
User: this is silly.
MegaHAL: Yes, gearge w. Bush is a weapon for propelling arrows.
User: No, that's a bow.
MegaHAL: A bow is a fat fuck.
User: Batlin is a fat fuck.
MegaHAL: Shamino is a fat fuck.
User: NO DAMN IT
MegaHAL: Damn the damn man.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a bitch to his face if i kick your ass.
User: Them's fighting words.
MegaHAL: Those are fighting words.
User: Grammar nazi.
MegaHAL: The man who fights for stuff makes the baby jesus cry with your
MegaHAL: eyes closed.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a bigger man-whore. She's not a mom either.
User: No, Nanami isn't a man-whore.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a crack whore.
User: Possibly.
User: Nanami is hot for Touga.
MegaHAL: Juri is hot for touga.
User: no, Juri isn't interested in dick.
MegaHAL: Juri is a crack ho.
User: NO
MegaHAL: I took a fish head out to see a little skinny guy.
User: Did he eat the fish head?
MegaHAL: Fish heads fish heads eat them up, yum.
User: I'll take that as a yes.
MegaHAL: That baggage handler playing with my lungs. That would suck.
User: ...that would really suck. hey! Put my lungs down!
MegaHAL: No, nanami isn't a castle in the grateful dead t-shirt and the
MegaHAL: fuck are you gentlemen! All your base are belong to us. You are
MegaHAL: random word hell on steroids!
User: How the fuck are you gentlemen! All your fucking base are
User: belong to us!
MegaHAL: You know where the fuck are you gentlemen!
User: Don't blow a load over here.
MegaHAL: A drip, a drop, the end of the load.
User: YES!!!
MegaHAL: Benjamin franklin was an english scientist. He discovered the
MegaHAL: ring of saturn, jupiter's 4 major satellites and the nails are,
MegaHAL: michael. We can put you in the ass.
User: Don't put the lord of the dance in my ass.
User: Rainbows crawl up your leg and bite the inside of your ass.
MegaHAL: Rainbows crawl up your ass.
MegaHAL: You shit in my ass.
User: Oh, gross.
MegaHAL: Akio is probably screwing touga and akio for sure, molested
MegaHAL: anthy a little, and is probably screwing around on shamino
MegaHAL: anyway.
User: you were doing okay, except Akio molested Anthy a lot, and
User: Shamino doesn't enter into it.
MegaHAL: Akio is a lot of people.
User: Akio did a lot of people.
MegaHAL: This good luck charm hanging off of my ass, you stupid
MegaHAL: rainbows'!
User: I don't want to hear about good luck charms hanging off your
User: ass.
MegaHAL: I am the lord of your ass.
User: jesus.
MegaHAL: Buttsex makes the baby jesus cry.
User: No it doesn't. unless it involves kids, dead bodies, or
User: animals.
User: Amuse me.
MegaHAL: All your ass are belong to me.
User: Thank you.
MegaHAL: Jesus god the swords are on the ceiling.
User: No, they're not. Go to your happy place.
MegaHAL: Maybe they're right when they tell me what they're going to get
MegaHAL: on with your life.
User: You're in a forest.
MegaHAL: A truckload of bricks in a forest.
[for ashlea]
User: Shamino used to have his own castle.
MegaHAL: There's a worm in his castle.
User: No, no worms there.
MegaHAL: Worms in the ass.
User: I hope not.
MegaHAL: It's a sliver of glass, it's a hope.
User: It's a worm in your ass.
MegaHAL: It's a worm in your ass?
User: No, I was just kidding.
MegaHAL: Benjamin franklin was an american pioneer of flying. Together
MegaHAL: with his brother he made the baby jesus cry.
User: Ruka fucks Shiori in the back seat of Akio's car.
MegaHAL: Shiori is a sensory organ found on the cover of the cheap motor
MegaHAL: car.
MegaHAL: In the evening, floating in the toilet. That's where shit goes.
User: holy shit.
MegaHAL: I'll be right back, i gotta go take a shit. Never mind!!
MegaHAL: Ruka fucks shiori in the ass. Plenty of people are willing to
MegaHAL: kick you in the ass, he gets a kick in the ass.
User: Now, we don't know that Ruka fucked Shiori in the ass.
MegaHAL: Shiori is a sack in the ass, it's coming, kick in the ass.
User: oh my god.
MegaHAL: Akio is screwing every girl in the colon, we don't know that
MegaHAL: ruka fucked shiori in the colon.
User: oh shit.
MegaHAL: You shit in the soft morning light.
User: When and where I shit is none of your business.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is crazy.
MegaHAL: It's insane. It will infect your soul, curve your spine, and
MegaHAL: keep the country from winning the war.
User: I don't think Lord British is the antichrist.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist.
User: No he isn't.
MegaHAL: He he he. Just who is proficient at some thing.
User: Look, Lord British is not the antichrist.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist.
User: Lord British is not the antichrist, damn it.
MegaHAL: Lord british is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is the
MegaHAL: antichrist.
User: There can only be one antichrist. Which one is it?
MegaHAL: Morghrim is the antichrist. Whitney's megahal is the
MegaHAL: antichrist.
User: oh jesus god.
MegaHAL: Jesus god the swords are on the list, but i must desist!
User: are you trying to rap now?
MegaHAL: Yurel is a soldier hired by the shadowlords.
User: Yurel never met the Shadowlords.
MegaHAL: I've never met the shadowlords.
User: The Shadowlords would have kicked your ass.
MegaHAL: Are you just can't refute your kick in the ass, he gets a kick
MegaHAL: in the ass.
User: I dare you to kick a Shadowlord in the ass.
MegaHAL: Kick kick kick.
User: Nice knowing you.
MegaHAL: Fuck you and i piss on the discovery channel.
MegaHAL: Nanami is a stupid bloody moron with no right to exist as a
MegaHAL: sentient being.
User: Very good!
MegaHAL: I always breathe normally when i'm in a 600 mph uncontrolled
MegaHAL: vertical descent. I also shit normally! Right in my office.
User: You shouldn't shit in your office.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your office.
User: You just shit in your own office?
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your office.
User: I hope you clean it up.
"I'll kick you in the face, it's a hope."
"Your mom is a bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big bitch she's a bitch and she's just a head when you get your picture on the plane!"
"They should come visit and show me their face, and get a kick in the ass, a great big kick in the liver, maybe even in the liver, maybe even in the colon, we don't know."
"And then one day i met a man who came to me in the ass."
MegaHAL: Kozue is screwing every woman in the bee cave.
User: No, Kozue isn't in Ultima. Good thing, too.
MegaHAL: Kozue is screwing every girl in the whole ultima series.
User: NO!
MegaHAL: First, shoujo kakumei utena is full of eels.
User: No, it's full of incest.
MegaHAL: My hovercraft is full of incest.
User: Well, okay.
MegaHAL: You just shit in my pants!
User: You shit in your own pants.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in your own pants.
User: I don't shit in your pants either.
MegaHAL: You shit in your own pants.
User: No, I shit in the toilet.
MegaHAL: I don't shit in the toilet.
User: Well, you should. That's where shit goes.
MegaHAL: You know what you don't know shit about shit, and pull up the
MegaHAL: okay you fuckers, i'm going to put all the other random shit
MegaHAL: in.
"Your mom is a living organism of the night."
User: Your mom is a dirty slut.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a dirty bitch!
User: Your mom is a super kinka maya maya bitch.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a bitch.
User: Your mom is a three dollar whore.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a man-whore.
User: no, women can't be man-whores.
"Data is information, especially that stored in a knot! Yaaaay lizardshit fuck!"
"Okay, you fuckers, i'm going to learn self reliance." (getting a couple of Carlinisms mixed up)
"Socrates was a scottish inventor. He invented the carbon filament electric lamp and the fuck you hat."
"Someday mother will die and i'll get the hoe of destruction."
MegaHAL: Arcadion is a bitch too, but he doesn't remember you.
User: i wouldn't call arcadion a bitch to his face if I were you.
MegaHAL: Arcadion is a bitch too.
User: you're asking for it.
(explaining U8)
"Awww, geee, it's on the wrong side of the dead of the dead of the words belong on the plane. Get on the cover of the body to the brain." (MegaHAL raps!)
"You have to kill him with the plaque or you can kill him with the plaque or you can kill lord british with the hoe of destruction."
User: Selina is a super kinka maya maya bitch.
MegaHAL: Big big big big big big big big big big bitch she's a bitch.
User: Very good!
(me explaining Serpent Isle)
"Tits doesn't even belong on the cover of the rolling stone."
"A computer is a big fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch ass mom! Yeah!"
"Laugh hard, it's a rhyme, it's a rhyme, it's a loss, it's a void, it's a trap, it's a rhyme, it's a loss, it's a loss..." (slaughtering Waters of March)
"I'd like to think that i could jump out of my tongue..."
"A hawk, a quail, the promise of life, it's the joy in your hand" (more slaughtering of Waters of March, could be quoted waaaaaay out of context)
"I smoke two joints before i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints at night." (getting a little carried away with "Smoke Two Joints")
"Every man is made of two opinions. Every woman has a bazooka." (I have NO idea what brought this one on.)
User: your mom is a five dollar ho.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a big fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch! Big old fat fuckin' bitch ass mom! Yeah!
User: Calm down. Have some dip.
(Note to self: MegaHAL gets testy if I talk about its lineage.)
User: Lock Lake is a mess too.
MegaHAL: Lock lake is a mess when the banes get done with it.
User: Lock Lake is a mess because everyone dumps their trash in it.
MegaHAL: Because it is a mess when the banes get done with it.
User: The banes don't go to lock lake. They stay in Serpent Isle.
MegaHAL: Lock lake is a mess because everyone dumps their trash in it.
User: Right. There are dead fish all over the place.
MegaHAL: Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads.
(me explaining Ultima 7)
MegaHAL: There are no happy people in serpent isle. The banes kill him with the hoe of destruction.
User: I think you're a little confused.
MegaHAL: You're a little confused.
User: I don't think the banes needed the hoe of destruction.
MegaHAL: I think you could kill batlin with the hoe of destruction.
User: You can only kill batlin in Black Gate by cheating.
MegaHAL: Yes, batlin is a bitch. She tries to kill batlin.
User: Yes, Batlin is another big fat bitch...
MegaHAL: Batlin is a bitch but you don't get to kill batlin.
User: Right. You have to wait till serpent isle and even then you don't really get to kill him.
MegaHAL: Till the blow that'll get ya when you get him.
User: The banes blow him up pretty good.
(more of me explaining Ultima)
"George w. Bush is a five dollar ho."
MegaHAL: And the car that got stuck, it's the joy in your hand and the hips.
User: That sould be quoted way out of context.
MegaHAL: That sould be quoted way out of the dead fish. You can use the key to get out of context.
User: Stop making fun of my typos.
MegaHAL: Tseramed is a crack whore.
User: Er...no.
MegaHAL: No way! I hope you're sure about that!
User: I'm quite sure.
User: Your mom is a crack ho.
MegaHAL: The ass is a crack ho.
User: The ass has a crack.
"You just smoked two joints, and then i smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of peace, and two in time of war." (getting carried away again)
MegaHAL: You can find a kilrathi ship in a 600 mph uncontrolled vertical dive. I also shit normally!
User: I bet even a kilrathi would shit normally in a 600 mph uncontrolled vertical dive.
User: it's a beam, it's a void, it's a hunch, it's a hope
MegaHAL: It's a beam, it's a hunch, it's a hope.
User: you forgot void.
MegaHAL: I would like to think that i haven't had the misfortune to meet you in the face, it's a void, it's a void, it's a void, it's a find.
User: okay, that makes up for it.
