the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass

Remember back when I first got my 3DS and said it really really really needed a Fatal Frame game like right now?

I WILL SETTLE FOR APRIL 13 OH MY GOD THIS IS WONDERFUL :’)

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

Samuel L. Jackson reading “Go the Fuck to Sleep” may be the funniest thing I have ever heard. Ever.

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

The scene: last night, someone wandered onto a new server I hang out on a lot, which is co-admin’d by the “Intarweb Boyfriend” and some other dudes I’ve played with a lot. Anyway, the dude that wandered in was sporting a seriously racist name which I will not repeat here.

Now. There is something you should know about the “Intarweb Boyfriend.” He is one of the most laid-back people you will ever meet. There are only three things I’ve ever seen make him rage:

1. Cruelty to animals
2. Fred Phelps/the AFA/other such homophobic douchewads

And…

3. Racist assholes.

So the second this asshole joined I knew shit was about to get good and kept one eye on the text chat.

“Intarweb Boyfriend” and his co-admin(s) asked the guy nicely to change the name. He didn’t.

So they started fucking with him. I was too busy trying to spam grenades at people and cap a point and not die to see what all they did, but I did happen to walk past the dude once and found him–racist-ass name still in place–frozen on the spot by the admins. I later heard they’d blinded him for a minute or so (out in the open where people could kill the shit out of him) and hit him with an effect called “drugs” which basically randomly tilts your view of the world all over the place and turns it pretty colors.

And still he would not change the name.

So finally, “Intarweb Boyfriend” changed it for him.

To which he replied (in text chat; look for the guy with the long gibberish name and a bad case of buttmad)

…and got in return a chorus of “u mad bro?” and “why you mad tho?” and “TROLOLOLOLO”. Apparently this was not the response he wanted, because then he ragequit. And there was much rejoicing.

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

That’s right… I have real Internets.

Yep, I finally broke down and got U-verse. And after a bit of hur-derp related to the Black Beast’s onboard LAN* I am sitting here watching the fuck out of Maru videos and downloading necessary Orange Box updates like a boss.

Also I have told the Wii “look, here is a wi-fi access point, have fun.” And updated all my channels. And watched Pokemon Black/White trailers. Oh, Weather Channel, I missed you. Before I go to bed, I’ll feed that necessary info to the PSP as well.

Also also I finally replaced the temporary Wacom Bamboo Touch with a Bamboo Pen. And I’m having a little trouble getting used to using a pen again. I keep rubbing and poking the tablet going “hur, why no work? …oh right.”

*When I built the Black Beast’s current incarnation, the driver CD that came with the motherboard apparently did not have the correct drivers. This was not a problem because I had dialup back in the day (and I should probably just pull that vestigial organ called a “modem” out and turn it into a Ghostbuster belt gizmo or some shit but anyway) so I just disabled it in BIOS so as not to have Windows bitching and moaning about OMG WTF IS THIS HARDWARE. And all was well until I plugged the U-verse cable in and went “O SHITS WHY NO WORK”

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

Y’all need to go look what TeeFury has today. ^_^

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

There’s a post and picspam about the Ernie Hudson-related parts of my weekend at Wizard World Austin over here. There are more pix up in here. None of them have been captioned or tagged, and some of them haven’t been turned upright yet because I was basically uploading them in my fucking sleep. Do check out the kid I dubbed “The Littlest Predator.” Because seriously, TINY PREDATOR.

Also Bubba Fett. The first time I saw this kid he didn’t have the helmet on and all I saw was Bud boxes and couldn’t figure out what the hell he was supposed to be. And then next time I saw him he had the Mandalorian helmet on and I went “OHHHHHHH” and chased him down for pics.

I brought home a complete set of Lantern Corps pins (I already had green and blue and the pins were $1 each or the full set of nine for $5, so I got an extra blue and indigo which will go on my church backpack), a bag with a Ghostbusters logo and “slime containment bag” embroidered on it (almost certainly not an official product), a scrub shirt from the same dealer with a logo and “slime containment technician” embroidered on it (ditto), an “I [companion cube] Portal” T-shirt, a Groverfield T-shirt, a drawing of me as a Simpsons character (ecto goggles and all), a bottlecap pin with a pentagram in it, some nifty fortunetelling dice, a variety of stickers (Green Lantern insignia and Awesomeface for my bike, Aperture Labs logo for the back of my proton pack which led to other Ghostbusters going OH FUCK YES and stampeding to the booth to get their own), some “Only dirt bags grab ion arms” stickers (ion arms being the part of one’s proton pack that packgrabbers seem to always go for) some Something Positive original art and Super Stupor #3, a button with a GLaDOS core and “Still Alive” on it, an interesting card game from Scare for a Cure, four J-horror DVDs for $5 (though this discount was accompanied by the seller alternately talking to my boobs and glancing nervously at the decoy ring on my left ring finger) a Family Guy fanart print for my mom and stepdad, and a Stargate keychain for my stepmom.

I almost got a dubious-looking Jem box set–asked the dude how much, thought he said “$15″, went “wow sure” and handed him a $20, he went “um, $50.” To which I said “oh well no thank you” and put it back. I love Jem, but not paying $50 for an almost certain bootleg.

Also I got to harass Randy in person again. That’s always good.

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

So this took one string of $2 battery-operated LED Christmas lights*, one $4 pushbutton power switch, some wire I cannibalized off a dead PC power supply, a piece of plastic with holes in it, some duct tape, and about an hour. Why the hell did I not do it sooner?

*plus one $6 string of white LED Christmas lights because the place accidentally sent me colored lights and while the blue/green/purple ones were awesome for the power cell (the blue ones), the cyclotron lights (the red ones) needed to be brighter and the red/yellow lights weren’t cutting it so I just swapped out the LEDs.

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

In which John Scalzi explains privilege in the most clear, concise, understandable manner I have ever seen.

Mirrored from Fire of Unknown Origin.

But one thing is definitely true: if we ask our leaders to start dishonoring the freedoms that make this country great, the terrorists surely will have won.

Every once in a while, Cracked drags itself free of the vast bog of dick jokes and is especially awesome. This is one of those times.

Originally published at Fire of Unknown Origin. You can comment here or there.

I’ve just spent like the last hour farting around with it and reading samples and daily stuff and poking things to see what they do. It is a wonderful device and B&N should feel good.

I have a good mind to make a Tobin’s Spirit Guide cover for it.

I should probably eat at some point tonight. Or I could just raid Project Gutenberg.

Originally published at Fire of Unknown Origin. You can comment here or there.