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Strawberry Festival Report
May. 18th, 2002 11:02 pm6:30 - Arrive with Mom at Strawberry Festival. Greet Boss #2, who is on ticket-taking duty at gate. Gawk at people on rock-climbing wall and on superjump thingy.
6:45 - 7:30 - Wander through arts n' crafts tables. Spend money. Buy jar of habanero salsa, which is actually pretty mild as habanero shit goes, from this guy. There were actually two vendors of Hot Shit there; I chose this one because some of the names of his sauces had me wheezing with laughter. "Ass In Antarctica" and "Death By Stupidity" were a couple of my favorites. Also worthy of note is the "dry hot sauce" called Gator's Buckshot: it contains ground habanero and wasabi. Wow. Impressed the hell ouf of the gentleman next to me when I sampled the Texas Road Kill sauce, which seems to be only slightly less of a biohazard than the Death By Stupidity sauce, and did little more than cough quietly and calmly declare it "damn hot." Truth be told, I could barely taste it, but boy oh boy did it clear my sinuses out. Declared that, one day, Selece's Armoury will have a damn booth. Decided I would try for this next year when I found the wire-wrapped jewelry booth. Bought beef jerky, damn good. The cats seem to think so too, as I type this. Even Spazz, who does not eat people food at all. Anyway...found a booth peddling lots of Feng Shui stuff and such. I now have a Kuang Hu for my desk. ...well, not quite, but close enough. Passed by the guy selling Butch Hall flutes, and was surprised that he remembered me from two years ago. Wanted to buy another flute, but couldn't spare the cash.
7:30 - 8:30 - Meander out to midway. Figure I might as well spend the $16 on an armband for the rides. Rode a few. Got mental image of Bowman trying to drag Nineh on the Zipper (hell no I didn't ride that, but I did laugh myself purple at the girl that SHRIEKED every time it moved two inches), Nineh telling him nicely to go fuck himself, and Bowman puffing up and making a big show out of getting on it by himself...and then SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL the whole ride while Nineh laughs herself sick down below.
8:30 - 9:00 - I insist on buying Mom funnel cake. We share funnel cake and take turns laughing at, not with, bad bad bad boyband singer wannabe on one of the secondary stages.
9:00 - 9:15 - Overcome by cute, I visit the petting zoo, paying the extra buck for an ice cream cone full of critter food. As soon as the animals figure out hey, that lady's got food for us, I am immediately accosted by: one llama, two deer, at least four goats (one of which was smaller than my big cat and one of which jumped up on my leg like a dog and grabbed the fucking cone right out of my hand), a calf, and a sheep. Whoops. Sorry, Bambi, food's gone. Your friend Billy there knows what happened to it. Please don't spit on me, Mr. Llama. And even after the food was gone, the animals stayed crowded around me, such that I had to very carefully step over the teeny tiny goat to get away. And boy, did I get weird looks from the cats when I got home..."*sniff*...*sniffsniff*...dude, what the fuck were you petting!?"
9:15 - Decide to try rock-climbing wall again. Last time I did this was many, many moons ago at Astroworld, and it kicked my ass. Get in line.
9:30 - Get my turn on rock wall.
9:32 - Rock Wall 2, Sarah 0. I got halfway up the wall, give or take a few feet. And then there was just no place for my hands to go. And no place for my feet to go that would get me much farther than I already was. And then the wind picked up. And then my leg decided to cramp. Oh, hell. Shook out cramp, got about another foot up. As soon as my bandana blew off, I said "the hell with this" and jumped. As I hit terra firma, the lady that ran the thing tapped me on the shoulder and told me I could keep trying as long as I wanted. I told her that was perfectly fine; I'd had enough, thank you so very much. Apparently, I have no upper body strength whatsoever. All my strength has migrated to my legs. Which did me fuckall good when I couldn't find a handhold worth a damn.
9:40 - Boss #2 is still stuck on ticket duty, and is very disappointed when I tell her she missed my feeble attempt at conquering the wall.
10:00 - We go home. I may go back tomorrow, if I can drag Dad and Stepmom out; I'll have to pay for a ticket, probably, as I only have two passes. But that's okay.
6:45 - 7:30 - Wander through arts n' crafts tables. Spend money. Buy jar of habanero salsa, which is actually pretty mild as habanero shit goes, from this guy. There were actually two vendors of Hot Shit there; I chose this one because some of the names of his sauces had me wheezing with laughter. "Ass In Antarctica" and "Death By Stupidity" were a couple of my favorites. Also worthy of note is the "dry hot sauce" called Gator's Buckshot: it contains ground habanero and wasabi. Wow. Impressed the hell ouf of the gentleman next to me when I sampled the Texas Road Kill sauce, which seems to be only slightly less of a biohazard than the Death By Stupidity sauce, and did little more than cough quietly and calmly declare it "damn hot." Truth be told, I could barely taste it, but boy oh boy did it clear my sinuses out. Declared that, one day, Selece's Armoury will have a damn booth. Decided I would try for this next year when I found the wire-wrapped jewelry booth. Bought beef jerky, damn good. The cats seem to think so too, as I type this. Even Spazz, who does not eat people food at all. Anyway...found a booth peddling lots of Feng Shui stuff and such. I now have a Kuang Hu for my desk. ...well, not quite, but close enough. Passed by the guy selling Butch Hall flutes, and was surprised that he remembered me from two years ago. Wanted to buy another flute, but couldn't spare the cash.
7:30 - 8:30 - Meander out to midway. Figure I might as well spend the $16 on an armband for the rides. Rode a few. Got mental image of Bowman trying to drag Nineh on the Zipper (hell no I didn't ride that, but I did laugh myself purple at the girl that SHRIEKED every time it moved two inches), Nineh telling him nicely to go fuck himself, and Bowman puffing up and making a big show out of getting on it by himself...and then SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL the whole ride while Nineh laughs herself sick down below.
8:30 - 9:00 - I insist on buying Mom funnel cake. We share funnel cake and take turns laughing at, not with, bad bad bad boyband singer wannabe on one of the secondary stages.
9:00 - 9:15 - Overcome by cute, I visit the petting zoo, paying the extra buck for an ice cream cone full of critter food. As soon as the animals figure out hey, that lady's got food for us, I am immediately accosted by: one llama, two deer, at least four goats (one of which was smaller than my big cat and one of which jumped up on my leg like a dog and grabbed the fucking cone right out of my hand), a calf, and a sheep. Whoops. Sorry, Bambi, food's gone. Your friend Billy there knows what happened to it. Please don't spit on me, Mr. Llama. And even after the food was gone, the animals stayed crowded around me, such that I had to very carefully step over the teeny tiny goat to get away. And boy, did I get weird looks from the cats when I got home..."*sniff*...*sniffsniff*...dude, what the fuck were you petting!?"
9:15 - Decide to try rock-climbing wall again. Last time I did this was many, many moons ago at Astroworld, and it kicked my ass. Get in line.
9:30 - Get my turn on rock wall.
9:32 - Rock Wall 2, Sarah 0. I got halfway up the wall, give or take a few feet. And then there was just no place for my hands to go. And no place for my feet to go that would get me much farther than I already was. And then the wind picked up. And then my leg decided to cramp. Oh, hell. Shook out cramp, got about another foot up. As soon as my bandana blew off, I said "the hell with this" and jumped. As I hit terra firma, the lady that ran the thing tapped me on the shoulder and told me I could keep trying as long as I wanted. I told her that was perfectly fine; I'd had enough, thank you so very much. Apparently, I have no upper body strength whatsoever. All my strength has migrated to my legs. Which did me fuckall good when I couldn't find a handhold worth a damn.
9:40 - Boss #2 is still stuck on ticket duty, and is very disappointed when I tell her she missed my feeble attempt at conquering the wall.
10:00 - We go home. I may go back tomorrow, if I can drag Dad and Stepmom out; I'll have to pay for a ticket, probably, as I only have two passes. But that's okay.
