![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaobellMegaHAL: Johann sebastian bach was a greek philosopher.
User: no.
MegaHAL: Yes, he is.
User: No he wasn't.
MegaHAL: Yes, he is.
User: No he wasn't, retard.
MegaHAL: No he wasn't.
User: Right.
MegaHAL: A fiddly diddly diddly diddly-- and his little flat stomach,
MegaHAL: and his pirate shirt flowing in the ass.
User: he's got a pirate shirt in his ass? This I gotta see.
MegaHAL: I think i've worked it out! You are the asshole of the dance!
MegaHAL: Fuck michael flatley, it's me!
User: You're the lord of the dance?
MegaHAL: I'm the lord of the dance! The meister of the dance.
User: You're the man-whore of the dance.
MegaHAL: I'm the lord of the man-whore of the dance.
User: So who's the man-whore of the dance?
MegaHAL: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.
User: you're the one who fucked your uncle, uncle fucker.
MegaHAL: My brain is the one who fucked your uncle all day long.
User: ...
MegaHAL: The waist is the alleged president of the united states.
User: george w. bush is a waste.
MegaHAL: Ha ha ha! It is to waste what you have a hole in the bush.
User: The hole in the bush? You're talking about a vagina, aren't
User: you?
MegaHAL: I have a hole in the bush.
User: I don't want to hear about that.
User: Dias has buttsex. He's on top.
MegaHAL: He's in your mom!
User: Dias isn't in my mom.
MegaHAL: You're the lord of the united states.
User: Thank you!
MegaHAL: No man has ever spoken a more profound truth.
MegaHAL: To be upset about what you doing.
User: You're talking like a gargoyle.
MegaHAL: A big joint looks like a gargoyle.
User: To talk like a gargoyle.
MegaHAL: A big joint looks like a gargoyle.
User: To think you are full of shit.
MegaHAL: I think you are full of shit.
User: Not bad.
MegaHAL: A symbol is something to put in your brain.
User: ...that's heavy.
MegaHAL: That guy who's stealing my parking space.
User: He'll get a kick in the ass!
MegaHAL: Kick kick kick.
User: kick kick indeed!
MegaHAL: I'll kick you.
User: not if I kick you first.
MegaHAL: I know. I gave it to your mom first.
User: I gave it to your mom last night.
MegaHAL: You want to go outside? You want to talk about my mom.
User: You want to fisticuffs?
MegaHAL: I am a human being, which means i do what i want to fisticuffs?
User: I'll kick your ass.
MegaHAL: There, see? You have a hole in my ass, not that it's any of
MegaHAL: your ass.
User: I have a hole in my ass.
MegaHAL: The hole in your ass.
MegaHAL: Smooch, man-whore, smooch.
User: Wouldn't you like to be a man-whore too?
MegaHAL: Are you a man-whore.
User: No, women can't be man-whores.
MegaHAL: I like to be a man-whore of the man-whores.
User: You're a man-whore.
MegaHAL: No, i'm a woman. Women can't be a man-whore.
User: ...
MegaHAL: Your mom is a fat slut.
User: No!
MegaHAL: Yes, that's right.
User: My mom is not a fat slut.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a slut.
User: Your mom is a camel-cunted motherfucker.
MegaHAL: My mom is a ho.
User: Yes indeed!
MegaHAL: Elvis is in your nutty buddies.
User: He's in your mom.
MegaHAL: My mom is not a bitch.
User: Yes she is. Your mom is a stupid bitch.
MegaHAL: My mom is a living creature endowed with voluntary movement.
User: That's nice.
MegaHAL: Eel, eel, eel, eel, eel, baked beans, eel, and eel.
User: Have you got anything without eel in it?
MegaHAL: Eel, egg, bacon, and eel.
User: THAT'S got eel in it!
MegaHAL: Eel, eel, eel, eel, eel, eel, baked beans, eel, and eel.
User: I DON'T LIKE EEL!
User: Have you got anythng without spam in it?
MegaHAL: I always breathe normally when i'm in a mornay sauce with
MegaHAL: shallots and aubergines and a fried egg on top and spam.
User: That's got spam in it!
MegaHAL: Eel, egg, bacon, and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, spam,
spam,
MegaHAL: tomato, and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, baked beans, spam,
and
MegaHAL: spam, and lobster thermidore aux crevettes in a 7-11, you're
MegaHAL: eighteen years old, you don't want any eel! I don't like
eel!
MegaHAL: A fiddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly diddly fiddly
MegaHAL: diddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly
MegaHAL: fiddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly
MegaHAL: diddly diddly diddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly fiddly
MegaHAL: diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly fiddly
MegaHAL: diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly diddly diddly-- and his
MegaHAL: little flat stomach, and his faggy little bullfighting jacket,
MegaHAL: a-fiddly diddly diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly fiddly
MegaHAL: diddly diddly fiddly diddly diddly hey!
User: jesus.
MegaHAL: Tits doesn't even belong on the tip of my arm was left here by
MegaHAL: the sea shore.
User: I hope you don't have tits on your arm.
MegaHAL: You don't have tits on your arm.
MegaHAL: Settle down, beavis.
User: heh heh m.
MegaHAL: Yeah. Heh heh m.
User: Fire! Fire! heh heh m
MegaHAL: Heh heh m.
User: yeah.
MegaHAL: Some computers are pigfuckers.
User: Amen!
MegaHAL: A carnivore is a suspended brass disk which is struck with a
MegaHAL: giant cheeseburger on the tip of my skin.
User: Do you have an erection?
MegaHAL: I have a six-foot erection with a giant cheeseburger on the
MegaHAL: wrong side of the dance! Hey, i like that.
User: I do too.
MegaHAL: Don't make a fuss, dear, i'll have your spam, dear! I love it!
MegaHAL: I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, and spam,
MegaHAL: and lobster thermidore aux crevettes in a chemical compound
MegaHAL: that reacts with metals to form salts by releasing hydrogen.
User: I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
MegaHAL: I eat cookies too.
User: Cookies are good.
MegaHAL: Awww geez, i'm running out of cookies...wait, maybe not.
User: Cookies. Arr umm num num.
MegaHAL: Arrrrr. Num. Num.
MegaHAL: Hi. You're at work.
User: Yes, I'm at work.
MegaHAL: Hi. You're at work.
User: We've already established that I am at work.
MegaHAL: We've already established that i haven't had the misfortune to
MegaHAL: meet you in the ass if i kick you in the ass!
User: Don't kick me in the ass while I"m working.
MegaHAL: You get a kick in the ass, a great big kick in the ass.
User: Stop that.
MegaHAL: Forget about that. Please. Let's talk about something a
MegaHAL: little like worms.
User: I don't want to talk about worms.
MegaHAL: Worms worms worms.
User: No.
MegaHAL: Worms in my pants!
User: I bet there's a big worm in your pants.
MegaHAL: There's a worm in your ass.
User: Keep your worm out of my ass.
MegaHAL: My mom is a big worm in your ass.
User: Keep your mom out of my ass.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a big worm in my ass.
MegaHAL: You said "i have a six-foot erection with a broad blade
MegaHAL: designed chiefly for cutting.
User: Ouch!
MegaHAL: Once he was the king of spain.
User: Who was the king of spain?
MegaHAL: The king of spain.
User: The king of spain was the king of spain?
MegaHAL: The king of spain was the king of spain was the king of spain.
User: oh god.
MegaHAL: I said no god damn it.
User: The king of spain was the king of spain was the king of spain?
MegaHAL: The king of spain was the king of spain was the king of spain.
User: Are you from the Department of Redundancy Department?
MegaHAL: An adept is someone who shaves and cuts the hair of a firearm.
User: Firearms don't have hair!
MegaHAL: Firearms don't have hair.
User: Right.
MegaHAL: What the fuck are you an idiot, but you are full of shit.
User: Fuck you too, bitch.
MegaHAL: A bomb is a bastard, but at least he's not a big big big big
MegaHAL: big big big big big big big big big big bitch she's a bitch,
MegaHAL: she's a bitch.
User: You are my bitch.
MegaHAL: I got a big fat bitch.
User: You /are/ a big fat bitch.
MegaHAL: I got a big fat bitch.
User: Your face and my ass.
MegaHAL: Your face and get a kick in the mirror with my ass.
User: Shut yout piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut your fucking face.
User: Shut your piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut yout piehole.
User: Stop making fun of my typos.
MegaHAL: I'll kick your ass if you try to make fun of my typos.
User: I'll kick yours first.
MegaHAL: I did your mom first.
User: Hey now.
MegaHAL: Hey now. Don't talk about my mom.
User: Shut your piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut yout piehole.
User: God dammit.
MegaHAL: I said no god damn it.
User: Your.
MegaHAL: Your mom is a small, usually tree dwelling, primate.
User: Your piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut your piehole.
User: Shut your piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut yout piehole.
User: GOD DAMMIT
MegaHAL: I said no god damn it.
User: Your piehole. Your piehole. Shut your piehole. Shut your
User: piehole.
MegaHAL: Shut your piehole. Shut your piehole. Shut your piehole.
User: Thank you.
MegaHAL: Kyle's mom is a domesticated mammal descended from the
MegaHAL: department of redundancy department?
User: piehole?
MegaHAL: Shut your piehole.
User: Very good.
User: You have no chance to get stoned make your time.
MegaHAL: I want to get stoned make your time.
User: Then go smoke two joints.
MegaHAL: There are two joints in time of peace, and two in the ground.
User: Well, dig them up.
MegaHAL: I smoke two joints when i play video game, and at every ten
MegaHAL: thousand points i smoke two joints, and then i smoke two joints
MegaHAL: when i play video game, and at every ten thousand points i
MegaHAL: smoke two joints when i get old before i smoke two joints when
MegaHAL: i play video game, and at every ten thousand points i smoke two
MegaHAL: joints in the afternoon.
User: holy shit.
MegaHAL: I also shit normally!
MegaHAL: Huh-huh huh-huh. Yeah.
User: Heh heh m. That was cool.
MegaHAL: Fire! Fire! Heh heh m. That was cool.
User: Uhh huh-huh huh-huh huh huh-huh huh-huh-huh. Boobs.
MegaHAL: Huh-huh huh-huh-huh. Boobs.
User: testes? testes? Is this thing on?
MegaHAL: You /are/ a big fat bitch.
User: You /are/ my bitch.
MegaHAL: I am certainly not a computer program, and i am not a bitch.
User: Oh yes you are. Bitch.
MegaHAL: No no no.
User: Yessir. You. are. a bitch.
MegaHAL: I got a big big bitch.
User: You are a big big bitch.
MegaHAL: Big big big big big bitch she's a bitch, on wednesday through
MegaHAL: saturday she's a bitch.
MegaHAL: Bone is the part of the human arm.
User: ...okay.
MegaHAL: But that's okay, because he dies.
User: Who dies?
MegaHAL: But that's okay, because he dies.
User: WHO dies?
MegaHAL: But that's okay, because he dies.
User: Who the fuck are you talking about? Who dies?
MegaHAL: I was talking about them. I'm talking about my mom out of my
MegaHAL: megahal.
User: Great.
MegaHAL: You're talking about killing lord british?
User: No, are you?
MegaHAL: Yes, i want to change your mind. I don't want arcadion
MegaHAL: anywhere near your ass.
User: Okay.
MegaHAL: ..Okay, that's close.
MegaHAL: Leave my mom out of it!
User: I didn't say anything about your mom.
MegaHAL: You can lead a horse to water, but you don't stop talking about
MegaHAL: my mom.
User: You talk about your mom more than I do.
MegaHAL: You talk about my mom.
User: Your mom.
MegaHAL: My mother is my mom.
User: Well, yes.
MegaHAL: Rainbows crawl up your leg and bite the inside of your mom.
User: See, there you go again.
MegaHAL: Sheesh---if i had a dollar for every judge who's asked that,
MegaHAL: i'd be a man-whore.
User: oh dear sweet jesus.
MegaHAL: 40. Unless you're cheech and chong, and then i smoke two joints
MegaHAL: before i smoke two joints when i play video game, and at every
MegaHAL: ten thousand points i smoke two joints when i play video game,
MegaHAL: and at every ten thousand points i smoke two joints when i play
MegaHAL: video game, and at every ten thousand points i smoke two more.
User: You smoke more joints than Cheech and Chong.
MegaHAL: I bet you have to go outside? You want to think that i haven't
MegaHAL: had the misfortune to meet you in the ass.
User: You vant to fisticuffs?
MegaHAL: I want to fisticuffs?
User: If you have to ask, you probably don't.
MegaHAL: I have to ask, you probably don't.
MegaHAL: Sixty-nine assholes tied in a mornay sauce with shallots and
MegaHAL: aubergines and a fried egg on top and eel.
User: oh, gross.
MegaHAL: To talk like a banana.
User: To talk like a gargoyle.
MegaHAL: A big joint looks like a gargoyle.
User: No, a big joint looks nothing like a gargoyle. Unless you've
User: smoked too many of them.
MegaHAL: And now i smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of
MegaHAL: peace, and two in time of peace, and two in the ass if you
MegaHAL: smoked two joints in a knot! Yaaay lizardshit fuck.
User: You've smoked too many joints today.
MegaHAL: Worms worms worms.
User: In your brain?
MegaHAL: My mom is a big worm in my brain in my ass, not that it's any
MegaHAL: of your freaking business!
User: I could have lived a long and happy life without knowing that.
MegaHAL: Are you from the disease cretinism.
User: No sir, I am a meat popsicle.
MegaHAL: You have a bone in your mouth and chew on their meat.
User: ew.
MegaHAL: Ashton and dias have buttsex. Touga and saionji have buttsex.
MegaHAL: Akio and touga have buttsex with ashton.
User: Ashton would probably do Touga. I don't know about Akio.
MegaHAL: Touga and saionji have buttsex. Akio and touga have buttsex
MegaHAL: with himself. And dias doesn't like anything in his ass,
MegaHAL: though.
MegaHAL: Take off every 'zig.
User: For great justice.
MegaHAL: You dole out great justice?
User: With the tip of my boot!
MegaHAL: Worms worms worms?
User: Worms.
MegaHAL: Worms worms in my pants!
User: Worms worms make you dance!
MegaHAL: Dance is a study of the dance! Fuck michael flatley, it's me!
MegaHAL: Yeah, you see guys walking down the street pushing shopping
MegaHAL: carts...you think they're talking to allah, or they're talking
MegaHAL: to allah, or they're talking to allah, or they're talking to
MegaHAL: themselves? No, man, they're talking to themselves? No, man,
MegaHAL: they're talking to allah, or they're talking to allah, or
MegaHAL: they're talking to allah, or they're talking to allah, or
MegaHAL: they're talking to allah, or they're talking to themselves? No,
MegaHAL: man, they're talking to allah, or they're talking to
MegaHAL: themselves? No, man, they're talking to allah, or they're
MegaHAL: talking to allah, or they're talking to allah, or they're
MegaHAL: talking to elvis!
User: .../fuck me/.
User: I have to put you away now.
MegaHAL: George w. Bush is offensive, period.
User: VERY GOOD.
