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Jul. 11th, 2005 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaobellDAMN APARTMENTS DAMN POOL DAMN DAMN DAMN.
So yesterday, I finally broke down and got swimwear. I hate the conventional girly bathing suits--they all look like shit my grandmother would have worn if they fit remotely well, or they don't fit all my bits, or the rare ones that don't look like shit and actually fit everything cost an arm and a leg, and on top of all that I JUST PLAIN HATE WOMENS' SWIMWEAR. I am strictly a pants person, and lean slightly toward the "butch" end of the spectrum clothingwise. I wear jeans and business-casual tops to work. I wear jeans and T-shirts in my free time. If I must dress up, I'll do makeup, and I'll wear girly shoes, but I wear dress slacks and possibly a dress shirt and tie or tuxedo shirt and bow tie. The only time I will wear a dress is if someone has died. There are girly things I will wear, but these scraps of Lycra they call "swimsuits" are not on the list. No. Just no.
Also, I am a weird size for conventional swimwear. What fits up top leaves a big flappy baggy bottom, and what fits down below... is barely street-legal up top. Bikini separates? Fuhgeddaboudit. Even the nifty new tankini tops don't really work for me, because I require SUPPORT and they ain't got it.
So what I figured out I could do back when ex-Mate the surf shop scion was around and I could get this shit free or close enough to it was this. I could get a pair of womens' board shorts, which are kind of like swim trunks except shorter and cut to fit girly hips and also much cuter and come in prettier colors. Add one sports bra, which I seem to have no problem finding in sizes that actually fit. Over that, add either a Lycra tank top or a surfer's rash guard, and ta da, swimwear I am comfortable in and not falling out of anywhere and don't have to wax my entire body to wear.
My last pair of board shorts ate it last summer. With ex-Mate no longer being around and surf shops being scarce around here, getting replacements proved to be very difficult. Until the mainstream retail world figured out that hey, chicks wear this shit and made it available. So I finally caved in and replaced my shit, because it has been so damn hot and so damn tempting to just ride my bike straight into the pool when I get home from work. Nice new pair of turquoise board shorts, new black sports bra and Lycra tank to wear over it, and not a rash guard because they didn't have any that matched the shorts, but a kind of rash-guard-like T-shirt with a nifty fantasy samurai warrior graphic on it.
I came home from work, scooted straight into the bedroom to put on my swim things, grabbed a towel, and hauled ass down to the pool......
...which was CLOSED ASJKADJHWUHSKJHDWLKAHWTF
A kid hanging around the pool fence informed me in a sad tone of voice that the pool was closed on Mondays.
I could have gone to the public pool across the street. But that would have required putting on shoes. And money. And walking. F that.
So instead I came back in and cranked up the AC until I stopped melting.
Damn apartments.
So yesterday, I finally broke down and got swimwear. I hate the conventional girly bathing suits--they all look like shit my grandmother would have worn if they fit remotely well, or they don't fit all my bits, or the rare ones that don't look like shit and actually fit everything cost an arm and a leg, and on top of all that I JUST PLAIN HATE WOMENS' SWIMWEAR. I am strictly a pants person, and lean slightly toward the "butch" end of the spectrum clothingwise. I wear jeans and business-casual tops to work. I wear jeans and T-shirts in my free time. If I must dress up, I'll do makeup, and I'll wear girly shoes, but I wear dress slacks and possibly a dress shirt and tie or tuxedo shirt and bow tie. The only time I will wear a dress is if someone has died. There are girly things I will wear, but these scraps of Lycra they call "swimsuits" are not on the list. No. Just no.
Also, I am a weird size for conventional swimwear. What fits up top leaves a big flappy baggy bottom, and what fits down below... is barely street-legal up top. Bikini separates? Fuhgeddaboudit. Even the nifty new tankini tops don't really work for me, because I require SUPPORT and they ain't got it.
So what I figured out I could do back when ex-Mate the surf shop scion was around and I could get this shit free or close enough to it was this. I could get a pair of womens' board shorts, which are kind of like swim trunks except shorter and cut to fit girly hips and also much cuter and come in prettier colors. Add one sports bra, which I seem to have no problem finding in sizes that actually fit. Over that, add either a Lycra tank top or a surfer's rash guard, and ta da, swimwear I am comfortable in and not falling out of anywhere and don't have to wax my entire body to wear.
My last pair of board shorts ate it last summer. With ex-Mate no longer being around and surf shops being scarce around here, getting replacements proved to be very difficult. Until the mainstream retail world figured out that hey, chicks wear this shit and made it available. So I finally caved in and replaced my shit, because it has been so damn hot and so damn tempting to just ride my bike straight into the pool when I get home from work. Nice new pair of turquoise board shorts, new black sports bra and Lycra tank to wear over it, and not a rash guard because they didn't have any that matched the shorts, but a kind of rash-guard-like T-shirt with a nifty fantasy samurai warrior graphic on it.
I came home from work, scooted straight into the bedroom to put on my swim things, grabbed a towel, and hauled ass down to the pool......
...which was CLOSED ASJKADJHWUHSKJHDWLKAHWTF
A kid hanging around the pool fence informed me in a sad tone of voice that the pool was closed on Mondays.
I could have gone to the public pool across the street. But that would have required putting on shoes. And money. And walking. F that.
So instead I came back in and cranked up the AC until I stopped melting.
Damn apartments.
