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chaobellEarlier, I needed to retrieve some info I'd misplaced from my "saved" folder on my old shell. I haven't checked my old shell in a couple of weeks. So naturally it's full of spam. As I was clearing that shit out, I noticed one peddling a product called "Spermamax."
"lol whut?" I said, and read the damn thing. Oh god.
Spermamax, apparently, is designed to make a dude's 'nads produce a MASTER SPERM RACE, making the little wigglies perfectly formed and strong and fast and plentiful.
I had a good laugh at that, then deleted the spam.
But I couldn't stop snickering over it. So I Googled them. And found their website. My mouth was full of Diet Coke at the time.
The first thing I saw was their logo: a stylized amorphous white blob. Followed by "CUM LIKE A PORN ACTOR!" in big orange letters. So much for the Diet Coke. And my monitor.
Then I actually read the text preceding the big orange letters.
Folks, I don't know about you, but "freshness" is the last thing I associate with porn star-caliber ejaculation.
And then there was the "What is Spermamax?" blurb down below, which goes something like "big word big word big word big word HEALTHY SPERM big word big word."
That little splat logo is all over the website. They use it as a bullet. I'm just going to leave that thought right there.
But what really killed me dead, what made me laugh until my face and my sides hurt and tears poured down my cheeks, was the following testimonial, quoted fucking verbatim:
"I'm not married and i'm not going to. For now, I'm quite satisfyed with my casual relations. My little secret is SPERMAMAX. Chiks really love me cum. That can drive crazy any chick, beleive me or not!!!"
The name of the guy who allegedly wrote this: Brian Pistons.
Brian. PISTONS. Shit, this guy's halfway to porn stardom already.
Ah, spam. I hate you, but sometimes you entertain me.
"lol whut?" I said, and read the damn thing. Oh god.
Spermamax, apparently, is designed to make a dude's 'nads produce a MASTER SPERM RACE, making the little wigglies perfectly formed and strong and fast and plentiful.
I had a good laugh at that, then deleted the spam.
But I couldn't stop snickering over it. So I Googled them. And found their website. My mouth was full of Diet Coke at the time.
The first thing I saw was their logo: a stylized amorphous white blob. Followed by "CUM LIKE A PORN ACTOR!" in big orange letters. So much for the Diet Coke. And my monitor.
Then I actually read the text preceding the big orange letters.
Folks, I don't know about you, but "freshness" is the last thing I associate with porn star-caliber ejaculation.
And then there was the "What is Spermamax?" blurb down below, which goes something like "big word big word big word big word HEALTHY SPERM big word big word."
That little splat logo is all over the website. They use it as a bullet. I'm just going to leave that thought right there.
But what really killed me dead, what made me laugh until my face and my sides hurt and tears poured down my cheeks, was the following testimonial, quoted fucking verbatim:
"I'm not married and i'm not going to. For now, I'm quite satisfyed with my casual relations. My little secret is SPERMAMAX. Chiks really love me cum. That can drive crazy any chick, beleive me or not!!!"
The name of the guy who allegedly wrote this: Brian Pistons.
Brian. PISTONS. Shit, this guy's halfway to porn stardom already.
Ah, spam. I hate you, but sometimes you entertain me.
